Monday, April 27, 2009

Explanation of Hardest of Days

Ok, I think I am finally ready to post again. It has been so long I'll have to remember how!

Just after my husbands birthday my Mother In Law passed away. She was 56. Her one love, her husband had passed away about 6 years before this. She had never really gotten over losing him, and to cope she was drinking more and more, and eating less and less.
For years and years when Brad (her husband and my father-in-law) was alive they would stop drinking for a month, as an exercise to prove they were not alcoholics. We suppose she had decided to do this on her own, and didn't tell anyone what she planned.
My husband and I, and his sister, her husband, and young son all live in the same town with her, my sister-in-law lived about 3 blocks away, and still the first we heard of this was that she had called the police because she was certain she heard someone in the house, locked herself in the bathroom and called the police. The police broke down the back door, and found no one. She was hallucinating. Debie (my sister-in-law) came over to be with her. We got a call at 11pm on Sunday night, but we weren't home because we are night owls and my husband works swing shift 2:30-11:00 pm. When we got home at around 4 am we got a message from Jasson(Debie's husband, my brother-in-law) that we needed to call them, no matter what time it was when we got home. We called, he filled us in. Could we come over to the house and be with mom on Monday because Debie had to be to work by 8 am. Yes of course we could. We got what little sleep we could and came over. Debie had called in sick to work, and we were trying to decide what to do. What scared ME was Debie said mom had had what she termed seizures in the middle of the night, muscles knotted up and severe shaking. She was going through alcohol withdrawals. Which can be deadly, especially without medical help.
We couldn't convince Debie to bundle her up and take her to a hospital. She kept saying she was sleeping now, sleep is good for her right? Especially since she hadn't slept much during the night. But.
There is always a but isn't there.
When she woke up, she became stubborn and refused to go to the hospital. Refused help, out stubborned both of her stubborn children and me, the scared spouse.
I grew up LDS, I had NEVER dealt with alcohol withdrawals, or DT's as they can be called.
I wanted to just wrap her in a blanket and drag her to an ER. But she woke up before we could come to a consensus, and she out stubborned us all.
She said she needed some more sleep, we let her sleep some more, checking on her every 15 minutes or so. Debie went to check on her and screamed for my husband, he sprinted for the room, leaping the coffee table. I stayed in the living room, he yelled for her a couple of times, shaking her, then yelled for me to call 911 NOW!! I did so, she wasn't breathing. He was doing CPR. The fire dept. and the ambulance came and worked on her for some time while we stood in the living room, trying to stay out of the way. Trying to believe it would be ok. That they would get her back. They took her to the hospital. The one that made a medical mistake and killed Brad. It was so hard to sit in that waiting room. I just sat in a chair and held the arms of it and tried to control my shaking. I called my mom in Idaho Falls and asked her to pray for Linda, telling her some of what was going on.
She never came back. They called us into a room. Debie immediately says 'I don't like this room.' I didn't either, it was the "I'm sorry we did all we could, but she is gone." room.
We picked up her watch and ring from the police department last week.
We lost her on Monday, Debie's birthday came on Tuesday.
She and I were just starting to become friends. I miss her. I am sure her two kids miss her ever so much more than I do, but I miss her still.
We are in the process of moving into the house she owned, which we now own.
I am typing this from what used to be her living room and is now mine.
We are working on the house, I have painted the living room. I have plans to paint the main bedroom before we move our bed into it.
We are sorting through my husbands parents lifetimes worth of things.
The hardest of days is not over, I am not sure it ever will be.